Trusting Your Intuition as a Physician Mom: Lessons in Resilience, Self-Trust, and Rebuilding
March 26, 2025
As Physician moms, we often pride ourselves on our clinical intuition. We make split-second decisions based on subtle changes in a patient's condition, recognizing patterns that others might miss. But how often do we apply that same intuitive wisdom to our personal lives?
In my recent conversation with Dr. Erica Bove on ✨Stethoscopes and Strollers✨, we explored this crucial disconnect between professional and personal intuition - and why bridging this gap might be the key to finding authentic joy as a Physician mom.
The Early Years: Motherhood During Training
Dr. Erica, a double board-certified OBGYN and Reproductive Endocrinology and Infertility Specialist, shared her experience of having her first child during her chief year of residency. Like many Physician moms, she cobbled together childcare through a patchwork of family support and hired help.
"The thing I didn't appreciate until the baby came was that you're never off," she reflected. "You're on at your job, and then there's the overnight feedings and diaper changes. There was never a down moment."
Despite the challenges, including a marriage that was showing early warning signs of toxicity, Dr. Erica described the joy of coming home to her baby after long shifts. "It was such a happy thing in such a stressed situation that I would do it again," she shared.
Navigating Crisis: When Personal and Professional Worlds Collide
One of the most powerful parts of our conversation was Dr. Erica's account of delivering her first son during Hurricane Sandy. As the storm approached New York City, her co-residents gathered around her with signs and balloons, ordering food and celebrating this new life even as the city prepared for disaster.
However, her second delivery represented the opposite experience - an unmedicated birth that happened after her epidural was discontinued due to concerns about her blood pressure. With minimal support from the attending physician and anesthesiologist, she relied on residents to guide her through.
"The chief resident...she got in my face. She's like, 'You have to do this,'" Dr. Erica recalled. "And I was like, 'Okay, I guess I got to do it.'"
These contrasting birth experiences highlight a reality many Physicians face: sometimes our professional credentials offer us better care, while other times they cannot shield us from systemic failures.
Trusting Your Intuition: Lessons from Heartbreak
Perhaps the most poignant part of our conversation was Dr. Erica's account of discovering her then-husband's affair with their nanny during a family vacation. What struck me was how clearly her body signaled something was wrong before her mind could accept it.
"I felt like I was in labor," she said, describing the physical pain she experienced the morning after noticing uncomfortable dynamics between her husband and the nanny. "I'm like, something's not right in the universe."
This physical manifestation of intuition is something many Physician moms might recognize but dismiss in their personal lives, even as they rely on similar instincts professionally.
After attempts at marriage counseling failed, Dr. Erica faced a crossroads when her husband demanded either an open marriage or divorce. What followed was an incredible display of resilience, as she:
Secured her job and financial stability through honest communication with her division director
Found the right attorney who believed in her goal to move closer to family
Created a support system of colleagues who traded shifts for her court dates
Rebuilt her sense of self after years of dimming her light
Finding Your Path Forward
Today, Dr. Erica has created a life aligned with her values. She balances clinical work with Love and Science Fertility, her coaching practice designed specifically for female physicians navigating fertility journeys.
"I could not even go to a restaurant and know what I wanted to eat because I was just such a shell of myself," she reflected about her final year of marriage. "This has been like a reawakening of like, what do I actually want?"
Her story highlights a journey many Physician mothers experience: moving from external validation and accommodation to a place of self-trust and authentic living.
What This Means for You
As a Physician mom, you've likely experienced moments when your intuition was speaking, but external pressures or internal doubts made it difficult to listen. Dr. Erica's story reminds us that:
Your physical reactions contain wisdom about relationships and situations
The right support system can make all the difference during major life transitions
Setting boundaries is not selfish but essential for your wellbeing
Rebuilding after trauma is possible and can lead to greater authenticity
Your professional skills of intuition and discernment can serve you in personal decisions
Whether you're navigating training with young children, experiencing relationship challenges, or simply feeling disconnected from your own wants and needs, remember that your intuition is a powerful tool - both in medicine and in life.
"Trust yourself, doc," as I reminded listeners at the end of our conversation. "You know what is right for you. You know what's in your heart. Do not let anybody gaslight you. Do not let anybody make you doubt yourself."
Your intuition has guided you through countless clinical scenarios. Perhaps it's time to let it guide you home to yourself as well.
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