This Is Your Permission Slip to Want More, Choose Joy, and Live Unapologetically

April 23, 2025

As Physician moms, we are masters of discipline. We know how to sacrifice, delay gratification, and do what’s “right” even when it’s hard.

But when it comes to joy? Comfort? Ease?
We hesitate. We overthink. We ask for permission.

This is my invitation to you to stop waiting — and start living.

The First Time I Got Permission…

I was in residency — tired, overworked, and planning a quick trip to Vegas. I was about to book the cheapest, multi-connection flight when a friend told me, “La Toya, just book the direct flight. You’re a resident. You work hard. Why would you want to arrive already exhausted?”

It was so simple. So logical. And it unlocked something in me.

Since then, I’ve never looked back. If there’s a more comfortable, more direct, more ease-filled way to get from A to B? I take it. I don’t ask if I deserve it. I know I do.

The Car That Changed My Mindset

Post-residency, I still had that frugal mindset. I was planning to buy a Toyota Corolla — nothing wrong with that, but it wasn’t a choice made from desire. It was a choice made from fear and programming.

Then a friend’s husband — not even in medicine — said, “Just test drive a luxury car. You’ll feel so good.”

He was right. I leased my first BMW that year and never looked back. I didn’t do it for status. I did it for how it made me feel — held, seen, worthy. That car reminded me every day that I could prioritize myself, too.

The Sweetest Surprise Permission

You know what caught me off guard the most? A comment from one of the least extravagant person I know:

“My rule is, if the flight is over six hours, I fly business class.”

Say what now?
From her? The grounded, budget-conscious, low-key friend? I was floored. And I believed her.

Because she wasn’t saying it to show off. She was saying it with calm certainty — like this was simply a matter of self-respect. And since then, that’s exactly what I do. Long flight? I’m going in comfort.

The Most Intimate Permission of All

Let’s talk about the kind of permission no one teaches us to seek: The permission to feel deep, embodied pleasure.

My coach, Alexandra Stockwell, gifted me this — and it changed my life and marriage. She taught me that my pleasure matters. That it can be prioritized. That it should be.

Not just sexually, but in life. In how I move through my days. In what I choose for myself.

I didn’t know I needed that permission.
But once I had it, I could never go back.

What Permission Do You Need?

Permission to rest.
Permission to feel good.
Permission to want more.
Permission to break your own rules.

Whatever it is — I’m here to give it to you.

You don’t need to justify comfort. Or explain joy. Or earn pleasure.

You’re already enough. You’re already worthy. You’ve already worked so damn hard.

Now… go lease the car. Fly business. Book the massage. Choose the route of ease. Not later. Now.

This is your permission slip. Frame it in your mind. Refer back to it whenever guilt creeps in.

And don’t forget — your joy might just give someone else the permission they didn’t know they were waiting for.

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