Playing the Long Game: Wisdom from Two Decades of Physician Motherhood
November 20, 2024
We often find ourselves caught in the daily whirlwind of balancing medicine and motherhood. The guilt, the perfectionism, the constant questioning - they can feel overwhelming. But what if I told you that the perspective changes drastically when you view it as a long game?
In a recent conversation with Dr. Dana Corriel, internist turned digital entrepreneur and mother of three boys, ages 13, 17, and 20, she shared insights that might just change how you view your current season of life.
The Early Years: Permission to Get Help
Dr. Corriel's journey began in residency - yes, you read that right. As an intern with a newborn, she quickly learned that getting help wasn't optional. "We needed to get someone to come in and really help us raise our child," she shares. While the guilt was real, she now sees how this support created a richer environment for her children.
Beyond Traditional Expectations
Like many Physicians, Dr. Corriel initially approached motherhood with perfectionist tendencies. From making homemade baby food to rigorous pumping schedules, she tried to do it all. Looking back, she wishes she'd been gentler with herself.
"You put so much pressure on yourself to do everything perfect and by the book," she reflects. "It's not worth all that crazy energy that you put into making everything perfect because everything is not perfect."
The Truth About When Kids Need You Most
Perhaps the most surprising insight? The early years, while demanding in terms of physical care, aren't necessarily when children need you most. Dr. Corriel emphasizes that the teenage years - when children are developing their personalities and navigating complex emotions - is when your presence truly becomes crucial.
This perspective offers a powerful reframe for Physician moms in the thick of early motherhood. Those long hours you're putting in now to build your career? They might actually enable you to be more present when your kids really need you.
Rediscovering Yourself
When Dr. Corriel temporarily stepped away from clinical medicine, she discovered parts of herself she never knew existed. From digital design to entrepreneurship, she found new passions that eventually led to creating SoMeDocs, a healthcare innovation hub.
Sometimes what feels like a detour might actually be leading you exactly where you need to go.
Key Lessons for Physician Moms:
Get Help Early
Don't wait until you're overwhelmed
Build your support system proactively
Remember that exposure to different caregivers can benefit your children
Release Perfectionism
Your children are more resilient than you think
Not everything needs to be done "by the book"
Focus on what truly matters
Think Long-Term
Consider how your current choices will serve your future availability
Build flexibility into your career for the teenage years
Trust that your children will be okay
Stay Open to Evolution
Your career path might surprise you
Personal interests can lead to professional opportunities
It's never too late to reinvent yourself
Moving Forward
Whether you're currently juggling residency with a newborn or contemplating a career change while raising school-age children, remember this: you're playing the long game. Your choices today are building the foundation for tomorrow.
As Dr. Corriel's journey shows us, there's no single "right" way to be a Physician mom. The key is finding your path, getting the support you need, and staying open to evolution - both personal and professional.
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