The transition back to work after welcoming a new baby can be both emotionally and logistically challenging. As a board-certified OB-GYN and postpartum coach, I often encounter new mothers grappling with this significant decision. Whether you've always intended to return to work or initially planned to be a stay-at-home mom, the reality of balancing your career with motherhood can be daunting. Let’s explore various tips, recognizing that there's no one-size-fits-all solution, to help you in your return to work. Remember, your decision should align with your unique circumstances and preferences.

Tip 1: Take more time off and reconsider your options 

If you find yourself torn between your career and the desire to be with your baby, you're not alone. I've been there too. It's common to have mixed feelings about returning to work after having your first child. If the thought of leaving your baby is heart-wrenching and you have the financial support and family assistance to do so, consider taking more time off or being a stay-at-home mom. Your baby changes and grows so much during the early months, and you might not want to miss a moment. While it might not have been your original plan, staying home longer or opting to become a stay-at-home mom can be the right choice for some moms. The bond you'll develop during this time can be truly rewarding and there is nothing wrong with it. So, give yourself time and consider your options.

Tip 2: Start on a Thursday or Friday

If the idea of a full week away from your baby feels overwhelming, consider starting your return to work on a Thursday or Friday. This way, you have a shorter workweek ahead of you, which can help ease the transition. It allows you to gradually adjust to being away from your baby and can make the return to work feel less daunting.

Tip 3: Consider if you can work Part-Time 

If the thought of returning to full-time work is overwhelming, consider the option of working part-time. While suggesting that a woman should work less may seem counterintuitive, it's essential to acknowledge that everyone's circumstances and feelings are unique. Some mothers may find that going back to work on a part-time basis allows them to strike a balance between their career and motherhood, providing valuable time with their baby and making the transition better.

Tip 4: Set firm boundaries at work for your pumping time

When you return to work, it’s important to set firm boundaries. It is the law that employers should make accommodations for employees who need to pump. Employees are entitled to a place to pump at work, other than a bathroom, that is shielded from view and free from intrusion from coworkers and the public. This is a conversation you should have with your employer before you return to work, to make sure that they can accommodate you. During your pumping time, you should be firm by not allowing colleagues to take away from your pumping time. You can also use the time as an opportunity to connect with your baby through video calls. This makes the time serve two purposes; pumping and bonding with the baby which makes it a lot more rewarding.

Tip 5: Leave your work at work 

This is another area where you have to set boundaries. When it is time for you to go home, you need to go home! Staying late at work can take away from the time that you need to spend with your baby. Setting this boundary can also help you in not being resentful and angry for working overtime. And if you are constantly working overtime and are unsupported then you may want to consider hard decisions about whether that particular work place is the place for you. 

Tip 6: Stay Connected with your baby 

Maintaining a strong connection with your baby while you're at work is essential. Request that whoever is taking care of your baby sends you plenty of pictures and videos throughout the day. This not only helps you feel close to your baby but can also support your milk supply if you're breastfeeding. A visual connection with your little one can provide comfort and reassurance.

Tip 7: Make the most of your time away

If you have to be away from your baby, maximize that time so that when you are home, you can be fully present and enjoy every moment. While it may be challenging, find fulfillment in your time away from your baby, whether it's work, self-care, or pursuing your interests. It is important to make sure that you are fulfilled and you are not constantly serving people; either at work or your baby or your family. There needs to be some time for you, and if you already have to be away you might as well enjoy that time. This way, when you are with your baby, it becomes even more special, and you can savor all those precious moments.

Tip 8: You’re going to miss some firsts and that’s okay. 

Do not place so much importance on being there for every “first” for your baby. This may be controversial but putting so much importance on all these “firsts” when you cannot be there for every single one of them if you have to go back to work, may be disheartening. Living life in despair for not being there for your baby’s first moments is not something I would wish on anyone. Rather be realistic, know and accept that you will miss some things and accept support by having someone caring for the baby in your absence to take videos and pictures. The quality of the time you spend with your baby is way more important than every single first. There are moments that you are going to miss and moments you are going to be present for but the baby will not love you any less!

To conclude, the decision to return to work after having a baby is deeply personal and dependent on your unique circumstances and feelings. What works for one person may not work for another, and that's perfectly okay. The key is to consider your options, stay open-minded, and choose the path that aligns best with your current situation and aspirations. It's important to make a decision that feels right for you and your family. Remember, there's no one-size-fits-all solution, and what matters most is the well-being and happiness of both you and your baby.

Your journey is unique, and I'm here to support you every step of the way!

Dr. Toya