A Different Way to Fight: Insights from Everything, Everywhere, All at Once
June 26, 2024
I want to share a little revelation I had recently. I finally watched the Academy Award-winning film, Everything, Everywhere, All at Once. Now, I usually shy away from award-winning movies—they often seem too quirky or heavy for my taste. But this one really struck a chord with me, especially as a busy physician mom juggling work and family life. I loved how it resonated deeply with my own experience navigating marriage and parenting. Whether you've seen the film or not, there’s so much to unpack.
The movie is an eccentric mix of humor, depth, and a whole lot of weirdness. Without giving too much away, it revolves around Evelyn, who runs a laundromat with her husband while navigating the challenges of family life and a tax audit. What captivated me was the evolving relationship between Evelyn and her husband, which mirrors so many of our own experiences.
At the start, Evelyn views her husband as a bumbling fool who constantly messes things up. But as the movie progresses, it becomes evident that he is incredibly supportive and helpful in ways she often overlooks. He saves them from immediate crises and handles situations with kindness and a different kind of strength.
This dynamic made me reflect on my own marriage, especially during those early years of motherhood. My husband and I had our fair share of disagreements, particularly regarding childcare. I often felt he wasn’t meeting my standards, which led to a lot of tension. But over time, I realized that he had his own unique way of interacting with our child—one that was different but equally valuable.
Evelyn's husband fights battles with kindness and a gentle approach, contrasting with her more direct and assertive style. This realization helped Evelyn appreciate him anew, just as I’ve come to appreciate my husband’s ways. It's a powerful reminder that different doesn’t mean wrong. Our partners might not always do things the way we would, but that doesn’t make their methods any less effective.
As physician moms, it's easy to get bogged down by the pressures of work, sleepless nights, and endless responsibilities. It can be frustrating when our partners don’t follow our instructions or handle things the way we would. But stepping back and appreciating their unique contributions can make a world of difference. My husband and our son now share a beautiful bond, playing video games together—a pastime I initially opposed but which turned out to be a fantastic way for them to connect and build skills.
Watching Everything, Everywhere, All at Once was a reminder to look beyond the surface and appreciate our partners’ unique strengths. It’s essential to recognize when our expectations might be unrealistic and to celebrate the diverse ways our spouses support us and our children.
So, I encourage you to watch this movie. Reflect on its themes and see how they resonate with your own experiences. And remember, in the whirlwind of motherhood and medicine, taking a moment to appreciate the good things in our lives can help us find balance and joy.
Let me know what you think of the movie and how it relates to your life. Until next time, keep thriving, loving, and juggling all the amazing roles you play.
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